You can't drive (yes, you)

Read time: 2 minutes

In the UK, more and more people seem to be driving incorrectly, especially where it matters most, such as on faster roads or duel carriageways.

This is less about the actual skill or technique involved in the literal driving or control of motor vehicles but more a few behaviors which are effectively large flashing neon signs above such motorists which declare that they are a fucking moron. These include:

Indicating (or lack thereof)

Whether or not a motorist will decide to indicate seems to be completely arbitrary and random, but there does seem to be some level of decision making taking place as to whether they will indicate before moving in their desired direction. As a result, it is inherently the case then that even if they do end up indicating or not, they have at least spent time considering whether they will do so, rather than finding the stretch just a bit too much for their little manicured fingers this time, or just forgetting entirely.

They have assessed the situation around them and decided to not indicate. This can only mean they have confidence enough in their perception and own cognitive facilities that the motorists around them in this specific case, have no need to have prior warning of their change in lane before they make it.

They are wrong. They are dumb. Indicating is always necessary. Why? Well, one of many reasons are blind spots.

No one seems to ever physically check their blind spots by actually checking, (by looking over their shoulder) before moving lanes, never mind before indicating. The kind of pricks that don't consistently indicate are very unlikely to do this either. Unless one is frequently checking their rear-view mirror and keeping track of where cars are behind them, it is always the case that someone may be hidden out of view, and therefore this lack of indicating behaviour has now become extremely dangerous.

If the person nestled in your blind spot has no prior warning or awareness of your sudden intention to move into their lane by sideswiping them off of the road, at least by your indicating will they be made aware of this, and might be able to do something about it, such as break heavily (you careless dick).

Despite the specific problem with blind spots, no matter how far away you think you are from others on the carriageway (you half sighted cunt), or how amazing you are at sidling in and out (ooh, just oh so satisfyingly close) between cars on the lane, everyone always needs to be made aware of your intention to move in any direction other than the one you are facing. It's not something you get to judge, or choose to do.

Statistically half of us are below average at driving. But no-one thinks that; everyone thinks they are great. Scientific studies have found that 93% of motorists judged themselves ‘above average’ at driving. One survey even found that 36% of drivers believed they were still above average while texting or sending emails at the wheel. Why everyone thinks they are amazing drivers

You (yes you) cannot drive if you do the above. Please stop being a fucking moron and do as your told, boy. (Or girl?).